Widgets

Screenplay Review - Cloud Atlas

type='html'>Genre: Period/Epic/Sci-Fi
Premise: (from IMDB) An exploration of how the actions of individual lives impact one another in the past, present and future, as one soul is shaped from a killer into a hero, and an act of kindness ripples across centuries to inspire a revolution.
About: Wachowskis again!  This script was adapted by the Wachowskis as well as Tom Tykwer of Run Lola Run fame.  The three also directed the film together.  Cloud Atlas is a 2004 novel written by British author David Mitchell, who had written two books previous to Atlas.  The film stars Tom Hanks and Halle Berry.
Writers: The Wachowskis and Tom Tykwer (from the novel by David Mitchell)
Details: 230 pages


A PDF script is usually compressed in two different ways.  There's the "smart" way, where the program compresses it down to a computer friendly 200 kilobytes.  And then there's the "dumb" way, where the program creates a big lumbering 4-6 MB file.  I hate the big 4-6 MB files.  They take longer to download.  They take longer to send.  And they just obliterate your hard drive space.  So whenever I see the 5 megabyter, I roll my eyes angrily at whoever originally compressed the thing.

Naturally then, I was pissed off when I saw the 6.7 MB file size of this one.  Another dumb compression.  That is until I opened it and realized Cloud Atlas was 2 million pages long!  This wasn't a dumb conversion, just a really long freaking screenplay!

The question that comes to mind when analyzing Cloud Atlas is, "What do you get when you try and tackle every question humanity has ever had since the beginning of time?"  Yes, Cloud Atlas is ambitious.  Maybe the most ambitious movie ever attempted.  There are six storylines spanning four different centuries.  And two of those centuries haven't even happened yet.

Many of you have probably assumed I'll give this one a thrashing.  I complain about the length on 120 page scripts.  Surely it would be impossible for me to like a 230 page one.  Well, a couple of things about that.  First, this was written by the Wachowskis.  Not Joe Beginner from Proudfoot, Wyoming.  Is it unfair that I give a pro more leeway than a newbie?  I don't think so.  If someone has an established track record, you're going to give them more rope than someone you've never heard of before.  Also, it was adapted from an extremely ambitious novel.  So I'd been prepped going in for what I was up against.  I knew I was going to have to reallllly focus.  Joe Beginner doesn't have that luxury.  Nobody knows anything about his spec until they start reading it.

With that being said, the Wachowskis...I mean they just...they're really going for something spectacular here.  And when you see the trailer, it makes you a believer.  I mean how often do we get thoughtful sci-fi, something that's well done and actually makes us think?  Every 7 years maybe?  Still, it's gotta work on the page.  Those images are beyond beautiful, but the black pixels must be formulated on the white screen in a way that makes sense and that moves us.  Does Cloud Atlas succeed?

Leprechaun 10??

Like I said, there are six storylines.  Some of them are clear, others not so much. The first is set in 1846 with a lawyer named Adam Ewing.  He's on a boat crossing the Atlantic and finds an African-American stowaway.  The captain wants to kill him, but Ewing fights for his life, and the stowaway proves his worth.  Ewing is also keeping a diary that I believe is being read in one of the other time periods, which is how it's (very loosely) connected to the other storylines.

The next story occurs in 1931.  A young closeted homosexual composer named Foshbinder leaves his lover, a man named Sixsmith, to train with the greatest composer in the world, a genius named Ayrs.  Ayrs is old and sick and therefore needs an assistant to help him.  Foshbinder secretly falls in love with him, and must decide whether to tell him the truth or keep it a secret.

In 1974, a reporter named Luisa Ray is investigating a nuclear power plant when she runs into Sixsmith - yes Foshbinder's lover from the 1931 storyline.  Sixsmith seems to be holding a big secret, a secret he's being chased for, and after meeting Luisa, wants to offload it on her.  Unfortunately he's shot and killed before he can tell her, but he does leave behind the letters between him and Foshbinder, which she begins obsessively reading.

In 2009, an older gentleman named Cavendish, who used to be one of the biggest publishers in the world, checks into a hotel only to wake up the next morning and realize it's an "elderly care" center.  It isn't clear whether Cavendish is suffering from dementia or he was really wrongfully placed here.  Either way, he gets a group of fellow seniors together to try and escape the prison-like building.

In the year 2144, a clone named Sonmi-451 is being interrogated about being the first clone to break away from what she was programmed to do, which is be a slave to man.  We go back in time (as if jumping around to six different storylines wasn't enough!) to see her story, which amounts to a human named Chang bringing her to a resistance movement in the 22nd century where she will become a key piece in the plan to free all the clones.

In the year 2346, your guess is as good as mine as to what's going on.  The original author really went crazy here, imagining a world where people talk like insects might if they gained intelligence.  People are spitting out gibberish in copious amounts, but basically, a guy named Zachary who sees an imaginary Golum-like creature wherever he goes (I'm assuming Leprechaun up above?) is coupled up with, I think, an alien, who's taking him to a place that can save his dying daughter???  Beats me.  This storyline, by far, is the most wacky.

Hanks in disguise!

So how did it all fit together?  Well, if you ever saw that movie Red Violin, you'll love this, because Cloud Atlas is Red Violin on crack.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Mitchell was inspired by that Canadian film.  But just like Red Violin, it suffers from a lot of the same problems, namely that you're trying to find out why these six different stories really need to be told together and you come to the conclusion that they probably don't - or at least most of them don't.

There's two ways to connect the stories in a movie like this.  One is with plot and the other with theme.  Plot tends to be the more audience friendly because everything ends up making sense.  With plotlines from one story intersecting plotlines from another, it's sort of neat to see how it all comes together.  Cloud Atlas is NOT that kind of screenplay.  I mean, there's a little plot overlap, but it's vague and doens't really go anywhere.

That leaves us with theme, and unfortunately, that doesn't really work either.  Why?  Because it felt like Cloud Atlas was exploring every theme in the book.  Just watch the trailer.  At the end when the titles proudly claim, "Time, love, death, birth, hope, courage, everything is connected."  This script REALLY IS trying to tackle every single one of these themes.  And as a result, it just never finds its footing.

But here's the strange thing.  I still liked it.  While I'm against epics in principle because they're so hard to get right (all but the best writers fail at them), I have a place in my heart for when they're done well.  They're the most emotionally rewarding of all the genres.  And if there's one thing Cloud Atlas has, it's a sweeping epic scale.  We're just taken to so many different places and are following so many interesting disparate characters that you have to read on if only to experience the grand scale.  And to look at the trailer and see that they actually had the money to pull off what they were going for - I mean it's pretty damn inspiring.

I will take this time to point out, however, why writing these kinds of movies is so challenging.  The reason this is 230 pages is not because the story wanders.  It's 230 pages because they covered six different stories.  And when you do that, you NEED MORE SPACE.  I mean think about it, following one normal movie storyline takes 110 pages.  So had you told Cloud Atlas' six tales in any less than the 40 pages each section received, it probably wouldn't have been enough.  For the epicness and scale of this movie to work, those storylines needed to breath.  So attempt these multi-storyline scripts at your own risk!  Your scripts WILL get fat.

I would not encourage anybody other than experienced screenwriters (10 years of writing or more) to try something like this.  It's just way too challenging, so I don't want you to interpret my "worth the read" as some kind of endorsement to go write your own epic.  I just thought this script was so unique and so weird and so ambitious, that I enjoyed reading it.  So say it is and it shall be.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: I was JUST dealing with this in an amateur script. If you jump around in time a lot in your screenplay, it's INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT that you KEEP US ORIENTED TIMEWISE.  The amateur script I read didn't, and I was constantly unclear about where we were in the story, what year it was, if this was a flashback or flashforward.  At the end of every slugline in Cloud Atlas, they put the year (aka "YEAR - 1931") - so we ALWAYS know exactly where we are.  Again, this is a huge mistake beginners make.  They think you're in their head with them so if they decide to randomly jump back to 1912, they don't need to tell you.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Atlas

type='html'>Genre: Fantasy/Procedural/Action
Premise: A hunter named Atlas must figure out why a human is being targeted by creatures from a parallel world.
About: Ben Magid is the writer of the dark serial killer fantasy “Pan,” which I reviewed a few weeks ago. He has a few other projects in development including Hack-Slash at Rogue and Invasion at Summit. Atlas originally went out on the town in 2009, but despite some initial interest, it didn’t sell. I’ve been told more than a few times, “Carson, you gotta read Ben Magid’s Atlas. It’s awwwesome.” And they say it like Jack Black but without the irony. Hey, I’ll admit it. I think fairies are for girls. So I wasn’t down with strapping my wings on. But if you want to expand your horizons, you gotta take some chances right?
Writer: Ben Magid
Details: 114 pages – 2/19/09 (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).


The people have spoken. You wanted more Ben Magid. I’m bringing you more Ben Magid. To be honest, I always thought this script was the script for Atlas Shrugged, so I stuffed it in my “never read this for the rest of your life” pile. I mean, did you see the trailer for that abomination? If you can watch that trailer and tell me what that movie’s about, apply to Harvard now cause you’re a certified genius.

Okay now you’re going to have to excuse me if I don’t get this right. I’m not a fairy expert. I don’t build troll replicas. The only witch I know is my ex-girlfriend. The parallel fairy worlds are confusing so take my description with a grain of pixie sand. Or dust. Or whatever it’s called.

We start on a 16 year old girl named Willa running from a creature. She’s not too sure why a creature is chasing her and quite frankly neither are we. But her big mistake is turning into an alley. Rule number 1 when anything is chasing you. Never EVER turn into an alley! You ESPECIALLY want to abide by this rule if any sort of creature is chasing you.

Lucky for Willa, Atlas Goodfellow, Creature-killer extraordinaire, has experience with people making the dumb decision to turn into alleys and decides to end this creature’s comfort, dragging a confused Willa back to the hideout afterwards to figure out what’s going on.

See, we’re in the human world. And creatures aren’t supposed to come into the human world due to some pact we made with them back in the olden days. Atlas is a hunter. He hunts down any of these things that come into our world and sends them back – if sends them back means killing they asses.

Atlas figures this girl must be pretty darn special if she has creatures risking their lives to come into the human world to execute her. And he wants to get to the bottom of it. Now here’s where things got a little confusing. I couldn’t figure out if the human world was our world as we know it now, or a heightened version of our world where fairy creatures co-exist with us. Because sometimes our heroes would, say, go to a club, and there’d be trolls and fairies hanging out. I’ve been to a fair share of nightclubs and I haven’t ever seen a fairy except for when girls dress up in slutty fairy costumes on Halloween. I suppose they could be real fairies PRETENDING to be slutty Halloween fairies but I doubt it. Anyway, I couldn’t figure that out.

But getting back on track, Atlas eventually realizes that Willa is special. Verrrrry special. And that’s why the people from the creature world want her. In the end, the two will have to team up to stop the baddies from getting their hands on her. Cause if they don’t, the human world and the creature world will collide in one giant world jumbolya and if that happens we’re all going to become human stew.

Atlas was a neat script if you like this kind of thing. Did you see that movie with Nicolas Cage? The one with the dragons in New York? The Sorcerer’s Apprentice! That’s the one. This is kind of like that movie, but more clever, more inventive, and a little better.

Specially on the inventive part. Ben Magid’s really created his own world here. And that’s not easy to do WHILE keeping us entertained. You know how easy it would be to get bogged down in fairy names and troll guild descriptions? I see it happen all the time in fantasy scripts and it makes me want to claw my eyes out. “The Lisp Fairies are an ancient fairy tribe that once warred with the Carmine fairies, who would eventually give their allegiance to the Naksor King, who ruled the land of Falsettosoon before being consumed by the great Jigsaw plague, eventually reemerging as the Genky fairies, who were a combination of the original two factions, but who now only answer to Queen Xafulfa.”

Like I said. Ben doesn’t do that here. He tells us only what we need to know about the world and then keeps things moving so we can focus on the characters and the story. ALWAYS follow this rule when you write a fantasy movie. Know your world inside out, but don’t tell every single detail about it.

The thing is, the few times Ben does get into detail, it’s pretty cool. Like when Atlas whips out some strange bio-duo-loaded steam gun that shoots huge bullets. Except when we move in close, we see that these are not bullets at all, but rather fairies, who then burrow into their target’s skin, and suck the life out of them from the inside. Fairy bullets? Okay, I admit, haven’t seen that in a script before.

On the problem side, though, are a few things. Starting with the dialogue. It’s either too plain or too “summer action movie’ish,” and the reason it stands out is because everything else is so imaginative. For example, when Willa asks Atlas about a witch they have to see, Atlas replies, “More bitch than witch. It’s too risky. And there’s a price. No. We’ll find another way.” I don’t know. It’s not bad. It just never feels like people are *really* communicating with each other. Rather, they’re just shooting movie lines back and forth.

I also thought Atlas’ motivation was kind of wishy-washy for the majority of the story. He risks life and limb (literally death at every corner) because he’s “curious” about why the baddies are after this girl? Later on it starts to make more sense when he realizes that the world he’s protecting is in danger. But at first his obsession with protecting her at all costs didn’t have merit.

Likewise, I wouldn’t have minded a little more urgency, a ticking time bomb of sorts. They are getting chased a lot, which keeps the pace upbeat, but for the longest time there was no looming problem, allowing a leisurely pace through some of the second act, such as when they had unlimited time to visit Black Annis the Witch.

Atlas is unique. It’s a procedural that happens inside a hybrid human/fairy world. And I have to admit, I hadn’t seen that before (still haven’t read Killing On Carnival Row – is that script the same thing?). Would I have liked the relationships to be better explored and the backstories a little less clichéd (My parents were murdered right in front of my eyes!)? Yeah, probably. But none of these things are so bad that they’re story killers. The main reason I can’t personally recommend Atlas is because I’m just not into this kind of thing. But I have a feeling that those of you, men and women, who like to dress up as slutty fairies on Halloween, will like this quite a bit. So if you’re in that camp, read it and tell me what you think.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Be careful when you’re writing a “summer type” movie, that your characters aren’t all speaking in trailer lines. Those lines have their time in the sun, such as the climactic moment of a speech or during an action scene where your characters are in danger, but for all the lines in between, have your characters talk to each other like real people.

Blog Archive

Blogger tarafından desteklenmektedir.